image from : fromthemomcave.blogspot.com
The “terrible” twos. It exists. Although the way I see this stage is a little different than most. I don’t think children are “terrible” when they are two…I think it’s tough to BE two.
Picture this…
It’s 8 o’clock at night and Desmond is tired and cranky. We always let him watch something on his iPad before bed. Little Einsteins, Mickey Mouse, Yo Gabba Gabba, usually. Well, lately Desmond has acquired a taste (good taste) for different movies. Movies that aren’t really popular within his age group right now. His most recent obsession has been Ghostbusters. I ask him what he wants to watch and he tells me “Ayns!” I look at Danny and he shrugs his shoulders. Neither of us know what he is saying. We start the guessing game. Everything we suggest makes Desmond more and more frustrated.
Ghostbusters?? No! Ayns!
The Lorax? No! Ayns!
Yo Gabba Gabba? No Ayns!
You want to wash your hands? No! Ayns! (At this point he is crying and throwing himself on the floor)
I feel awful. What the heck does he want? I’m frustrated. Danny is frustrated. Desmond is beyond frustrated.
Between the tears he keeps yelling “Ayns!” I really felt so bad for him. He knew exactly what he wanted and we couldn’t understand him.
Finally, he sits next to Danny, crying, while the both of us think of all the possible things he can be saying, Danny yells “Aliens!” with a smile on his face because he knows hes figured it out. Desmond yells “Si!”… Hallelujah! He wanted to watch The Fifth Element. I know some of you will be so proud of him. He has good taste in movies. He takes after his parents.
Anyhow, my point is that most parents would just get so annoyed and start yelling at their kid to be quiet, thinking to themselves how horrible their kid is behaving. Whining about how hard it is to be a parent of a toddler. What they don’t realize is how hard it is to be a two year old. With only a limited vocabulary and a very clear understanding about what they want, it is difficult for them to communicate most of the time. They have yet to understand fully what their feelings mean and why they feel the way they do.
So what have I learned so far during his second year?
I’ve learned that I need to focus more on understanding my son. I need to be an adult. I cannot lose my temper (although very hard at times), I cannot yell at him (it never works anyhow), I have to always keep my cool. Tantrums will happen…A LOT. There is nothing wrong with this. I don’t ignore him during his tantrums. I feel like a lot of parents ignore their child when they have a tantrum thinking they are teaching a lesson, but in my opinion, this shows them that their feelings aren’t important. I let my son know that I understand how he feels and it’s okay to be upset. I help vocalize his feelings for him since he cannot do so for himself. I’m also there for him but I don’t invade his space if he doesn’t want me to. Every child is different. Some want hugs and some don’t want to be touched during tantrums. Know your child.
Get down to their level when speaking to them.
Need I say more?
I hope you all enjoyed my first official “mommy” post. This was something that I wanted to talk about because most of the children around me are 2 and I see parents struggle to understand them. Let us know in the comments if you have any advice for moms with toddlers. Also, leave suggestions for future posts.
Have a wonderful day!
Tags: advice, attachment parenting, freedom, mommy blog, no spanking, nonviolent parenting, supermaura, toddler, understanding toddlers
